The Dissertation Journal

This is a guest blog post by Walden alumna, Dr. Meredith Baker-Rush.

“You should record your dissertation journey in a journal to help you through the process” was strongly recommended during one of the residencies. As a busy parent, spouse, full time employee, and now adult learner, I heard “you should add one more thing to your daily to do list.”  With barely keeping my head above water with getting through the courses and proposal, I initially decided a dissertation journal was not worth the time. Then I noticed that my family and friends did not understand emotions associated with the dissertation process and I needed an outlet. I recalled the advice of a journal and so despite the lack of time, I went and found a journal at a local store and began to write my story.

I opened the book, turned to page one.  I wrote a date at the top of the page, the weather of the day, and what I was working on at the time. Then I found myself writing from a stream of consciousness. I recorded emotions from joy to guilt, relief to frustration, enlightenment to confusion. I just sat and wrote whatever I thought. I did not edit. I did not check for spelling.  I felt free of the APA professional writing pressure. I wrote for me and only me. No one judged, no one critiqued, and no one asked for revisions. It was freeing.  The more often I wrote, the more I felt like I had my own personal therapist who was always available no matter the day or time. No appointment required!

As I continued in the literature review stage, my journal became not only my therapist, but it became a log of “gaps,” future studies, discoveries and exciting hypotheses.  These key findings were my secrets, goals and ambitions. They were recorded with such excitement and enthusiasm and included my train of thought. At the time, I did not realize the importance of such a stream of consciousness.

Then as I rolled into the steps associated with IRB and the study proper, I recorded the struggles, frustrations, successes, implications, and what plans I would have with the completed study. I wrote where I would possibly publish, present, or how to replicate the study. Notes included how the study may positively impact patient care, training of professionals, and many other possible outcomes related to the study.  No edits, spelling corrections, or worries of needing to re-write anything.  It was so freeing!

It has been one year since I walked across the stage and changed my name to Dr.  One year seems like so long ago.  From memory, I can vaguely recall the feelings associated with the steps of a doctoral program, the long days and nights at my computer, and all the sacrifices I made along the way.  I recently found my journal and sat for a long while reading my story, my journey.  The journal IS my story, my permanent memory, my log of future studies, my record of timeline of my discoveries and goals. As I read my journal, I discovered it was also my compass. You see, I wrote in my journal almost a year and a half prior to finishing my dissertation, a professional employment goal that seemed so farfetched and almost unobtainable. At the time when I made the goal, I did not know the job was a real thing! What is so amazing is that today, I am doing the job I described in my journal. 

Thanks to my dissertation journal, the details of my journey, the literature searches and discoveries, plans for future research, and the emotional roller coaster have all been documented. This blog is in honor of the wonderful advice I received when I started my dissertation journey. It is with great hope that this blog will inspire you to also embrace a journal and make it for you. Write it how you want, free of judgement and fears of correction.  Allow the journal to be your personal therapist, your stream of consciousness, your story, your goal keeper, and your log for future research. After all, when you are done with your dissertation, you will not recall all the details along the way.  Your insights at each stage of the dissertation journey are priceless and will only linger in your memory for a fleeting moment.  Take the time to write your story. Celebrate you and all the emotions that you have endured during your quest for your PhD.

Next time, I will consider fear. Do you have an issue or a question that you would like me to discuss in a future post? Would you like to be a guest writer? Send me your ideas! leann.stadtlander@waldenu.edu