Revising

What should you look for in revisions? Read a sentence aloud and see if you can restate it more clearly. You want to be very precise in your meaning. Let me give you an example from one of my papers that I wrote with some colleagues. Here is the original draft of the first few sentences of the paper: 

By 2020, one in six American citizens will be elderly or over 65 years old (U.S. Census, 1993). The number of oldest old individuals over 85 years old will reach 6.6 million in 2020 and is expected to triple by 2050 and reach 18-19 million (Administration on Aging [AoA], 2010). The rapid growth of the elderly and the oldest-old population is a growing concern to the healthcare system, as it must prepare to provide increased support services. 

Here is the final version:

 

The 2000 U.S. Census (2001) reported 4.2 million people were over the age of 85 (1.5% of the population), this group has been designated the “the oldest-old” by demographers, and is the most rapidly growing age group.  Currently the cost of health service utilization for the oldest-old averages $22,000 per year compared to $9,000 for individuals 65-74 years old (Krause, 2010). 

What is different? The 2^nd version is much clearer, concise, and more to the point that the first. 

One final issue, I think it is very important that you understand the dissertation from the faculty's viewpoint; it may explain much of their feedback to you. Throughout the dissertation process, and even after it is published, your committee's names are attached to it. When the URR (or IRB, etc.) criticizes a student's work, one of the first questions that is asked is "who is the chair?" The student is expected to make errors; the chair's role is to catch as many as possible. 

Next time, we will consider Chapter 3, Research Methods. Do you have an issue or a question that you would like me to discuss in a future post? Send me an email with your ideas. leann.stadtlander@waldenu.edu