It is easy to blame others when things go wrong,
isn’t it? Your chair is compulsive about APA…. The URR is mean and impossible
to please. However, today I want to remind you how important it is to be
accountable for your own actions in general. Part of being a professional is
recognizing that you make your own choices, and ultimately there really is no
one else to blame. Accepting your own responsibility that contributed to a
problem is part of your growth. No one expects you to be perfect, it is ok to
say that you messed up and you will try to correct it.
Let me give you some examples. If you are having
many problems with a committee member, first accept that this person on your committee. Second, perhaps there are communication issues and you each are not
expressing yourself clearly. Try other forms of communication such as the
phone. Third, if this doesn't work, you must accept that it is your
responsibility to do something about the situation. Contact your coordinator or
program director and lay out the issues as neutrally as possible. Admit that
you are probably equally responsible for the problems, but you would like some
help in resolving it.
Why should you take responsibility? First, it
shows maturity and professionalism to understand that both parties contributed
to a problem. Second, when students start playing the blame game, whining, and
complaining, it comes across as the student is probably the real source of the
issue- is that what you want?
An illustration:
Dr. Stadtlander,
I need your help! My URR is being totally
unreasonable, she wants me to rewrite my paper again for the third time. I have
so much going on in my life, I simply do not have the time to respond to her
OCD problems. Please how can I rid of her??
Compare the above to this one:
Dr. Stadtlander,
I need some advice, please. My proposal has been
rejected by the URR now for the third time. I accept that my writing is at
issue; however, I am not sure how best to resolve the problem. I have spoken to
my chair and he acknowledges there are still issues in the paper but is not
sure how I can best address them. Do you have any suggestions?
The second student is obviously open to
suggestions and will be willing follow through with them. The first one does
not come across as recognizing that he/she could be part of the problem and
will probably fight any suggestions I make.
Finally, I want to
remind you that being accountable gives you back control. When you recognize
that you are part of the problem you can then become part of the solution.
Next time we will look at baby steps. Do you
have an issue or a question that you would like me to discuss in a future post?
Send me an email with your ideas. leann.stadtlander@waldenu.edu
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