A guest post

A guest post from Walden doctoral student, Meredith Baker-Rush.

I started my doctoral journey with rose colored glasses. I generally knew it would be hard and I knew would take a long time, but I never knew the testing sacrifice it really would be. I have a young family and I need to work. I gave up many days and nights of being with family to study for the classes, to do the writing, to do the research, to do the edits, to do more research, to do more writing, and do more edits. I go back and I often read my journal and it’s just filled with guilt and sometimes resentment of all the times that I missed being with my family, specifically my kids.

As I continue to work on my dissertation, I don’t write in my journal as much as I used to, but I do talk to my family about why I chose to make the sacrifice.  I feel it is important for my kids and family to understand why I gave up so much to accomplish what is their minds is just a “degree.” So I explain it this way… My family means the world to me and when I am at work, I see other families struggle with their loved ones unable to communicate. I explain that my love for my family drives me to help other families share their feelings, wants, and sometimes-even goodbyes.  I explain that because I have the ability to tell my family things that I want to, it motivates me even more to help other families who do not have such a blessing.  In Hebrew and Yiddish, this is what is referred to as being a “mensch” and providing a Mitzvah. This is what helps me be willing to share my time to help other families enjoy their time and communicate with each other. When I think of it this way and explain to my kids that our sacrifice helps so many others, it helps lessen the guilt. I often say to my kids, “the more you give to others; it comes back to you tenfold.” 

Now, at this stage of my journey, not only am I working toward completing my dissertation and disseminating the results, I can see the positive impact my research may have on caring for patients. I also see my kids embrace the value of education and the benefits of helping others. My kids are little but they see the benefit in the importance of lifelong learning and how one person can make a difference for so many others. They also hear me talk about how my one project (i.e., my dissertation) will be published and in the library for everyone in world to read. My daughter says that my work will be bigger than tenfold because I will never know how many read my story and how many people will do things different because of my book. She is right. My work will come back greater than ten-fold - although I may never truly know to what degree or impact it really has. Nonetheless, I know that the sacrifice me and my family endured will be worth the results in the end.

The dissertation journey has by far been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do not just because it’s difficult to write but because of the personal sacrifice it takes. Walden has a different student population base compared to brick and mortar schools (in my humble opinion). A Walden student continues with life in the fullest of ways and chooses to work toward a terminal degree understands the balance of life, commitment, and sacrifice.  It may take us all longer than we hoped, planned, or wanted, but in the end, we WILL have a piece of our work that will remain in publication and forever leave our mark for positive social change.

My last thoughts for this week is that none of us are alone. We all share many of the same emotions - just at different times of the process. The dissertation is designed to fill a gap in the literature however, in retrospect; the dissertation sometimes fills a gap in things that we are missing in our personal life journey. No journey will ever be easy. It’s the courageous and brave that complete it, and only 1% of the population will be called Dr.

So keep your chins up everybody. Please read the following out loud: “I, soon-to-be Dr. ___(state your last name), am proud of my work and sacrifice toward my degree. I will finish what I started and be proud of what I have created.” Now, take your right hand and put it on your left shoulder. Now take your left hand and put it on your right shoulder; now squeeze. I send you each a hug and commend you for your commitment and sacrifice toward your journey. I am right there with you.

Next time I will post an updated blog index.  Do you have an issue or a question that you would like me to discuss in a future post? Would you like to be a guest writer? Send me your ideas! leann.stadtlander@waldenu.edu